Welcoming Fall: Solutions or Surrendering?

Welcoming Fall: Solutions or Surrendering?

Happy October!! I love the Fall and I'm so excited that it is October and we get to decorate, make pumpkin spiced everything, and light up the seasonal candles that make our home smell so delicious you could eat the air.  Theres been a lot going on lately with the move, redoing our kitchen, my husband about to switch jobs, and just life in general being busy and full of surprises. I've received some emails from you guys about my lack of blogging recently, and I do apologize for my absence, I will do a couple posts soon on recent updates for all that life has thrown our way this past month or so soon! Hold tight (:

I've been doing some reflecting lately and really feeling like I've been too focused on things that arent important and less focused on what is, my walk with God. I have felt sort of like I've been in a desert, a desert I slowly put myself in by not keeping my eyes on Jesus. I learned years ago, if Satan can't make you bad, he'll make you busy. Well, busy is always where the enemy gets me. Even if I'm not that busy, my mind creates busy work and things to worry about that need resolution. I'm a worrier by nature, a problem solver, and do-er, a go getter, I get things done.. its both a gift and a curse.  When I'm worried it means im not trusting. When I am solving everything on my own with my head down then how am I surrendering? Im overly self-sufficient sometimes. It hurts me because we are meant to lean on God daily, moment by moment in all of our decisions and especially in the areas we feel fearful in. A lot of times i'll try to find an answer or resolve something my way because I suppose I think its quicker or it seems easier that way?  When really God is showing me I need to get on my knees, pray and then trust Him with it.  So today I am on my knees. Today I know I don't have all the answers. Today I trust and today I believe that He is sovereign over all the details of my life big or small. 

It is always my hope that by sharing in my struggles and being transparent we can feel connected to one another and know we are not alone in the struggles of life.  By sharing my heart I pray you find peace knowing Jesus is the answer always.  

^^^His best spooky face!^^^

^^^two tiny pumpkins^^^

Jammies by Cotton On Kids (here)

What Is This Blog For & Talking About Healing

What Is This Blog For & Talking About Healing

I have this space here to store our memories, to keep me accountable to journaling and keeping a record of our life, i also share here because I believe its what God calls us to do, to live our lives honestly and openly, sharing our testimony, our story with others so we can relate to one another, join in on this journey with one another and know that we are not alone. Life is not easy, we live in a fallen world so we need each other more than we'll admit sometimes. I am so grateful for a place I feel safe enough to pour my heart out, obviously there are some things i dont share, some things maybe too personal or i feel I need to protect my family or friends in certain areas, but for the most part i try to be really trasparent. I TRY is the key word here.  It doesn't necessarily come natural to me to be so vulnerable and exposed. I grew up thinking I had to be perfect to be loved by someone, that if i showed my flaws or people saw the parts of me that I thought weren't "good enough" that maybe they wouldn't like me as much. I didn't know that this was a lie i was believing, i didn't even know i was thinking this way.. it was subconcious.  It wasn't until I was older that i learned that i had believed that lie for so long and let it shape most of my relationships. I thought i was open with people and one day it came to my attention that a lot of what I shared was what I felt safe sharing but what i needed to share with my close circle was what i needed prayer over, areas where i needed to lean on someone and needed their support or guidance.  How can you really ever be known and feel close to people if no one really knows your heart, your wondedness, the deepest thoughts and troubles that are on your mind? You can't. 

I am so thankful God has revealed this place in my heart that needed healing, and i am so very grateful that i have been restored and I no longer believe those same lies. I didn't come here to even write about this, it just sort of came out when i began typing.  Sometimes i have to remind myself of what im doing here. What this space is about for me. I want it to be an honest space, one where people can ask questions, share their own feelings and thoughts, and be kind to each other... a space where people feel understoond, heard, and connected. It is my hope that you feel as though you are not alone when you come to this blog of mine. With all of the busy-ness in life right now and over the past few months, I have asked myself what can give? Where do i have room to eliminate something?  I asked myself if I feel called to blog, why i blog?  I suppose thats what got me writing this post.  I know why I blog, I know its purposeful, your emails touch my heart so deeply and i have met some incredible women from this online community that i wouldn't trade for the world. Your friendships mean so much to me. I know how healing it is for me to practice hummility and be transparent here.  So questions like the ones i asked myself above are a great reminder for me to focus on listening to what Jesus puts on my heart to share here. This isn't mine, this is His. I want to remember that each time I share something with you.

I just wanted you to know my heart i suppose. And that im grateful for you.

*If you read along I would love for you guys to follow by adding  your email on the right hand side of my blog. its easy! Helps get to know you all. (wont work on a cell phone).