Where Did The Paris Nights Go?

    I've been thinking lately, there is no doubt about it..I am insanely, truly, madly, deeply, passionately IN love. No, as a matter of fact, not as of late, but always. I always have this thought, "I am so in love with you", as I sit and think about him. I am constantly thanking the Lord for the gift He's given us in this relationship. Daily I think of ways to tell him, show him, and insure he knows and feels loved and valued by me. He has mastered every way to reveal his love for me and taught me by example how to reciprocate that. It is mind boggling that others around us, such as strangers, family, and friends see the way we 'love' and find it to be an extra special kind of love? "Special".."Yes", however isn't their significant other deemed just as special to them? "Extra?" That's the word that throws me. If you've been given a partner, someone to hold, cherish, love, someone to walk life with, laugh with, grow old with, and invest yourself into, don't you appreciate that gift above all else? Is your job more important, is your appearance, are your friends, or how much money you make all more important than that person who sticks by your side loving you through it all? The person who will be there when you loose your job, when you start to age and loose your "ideal" appearance, when friends break your trust or find families of their own, and when the money dries up and your left with empty pockets but a filled heart. Isnt that special person worth the "extra" effort? Imagine the kind of respect and relationship you'd have with each other if you spent more time showing that special "one" that you love, care, and appreciate them, just them. 

    No matter the ups and downs, distance, time that flies by, or how many days you've already loved on them and poured your heart into them, every bit of love you share is worth it. Every smile you create just by loving someone is priceless. What does is take to do something "extra" for the one who loves you more than anyone else. Whatever happened to warm summer nights draped in your man's arms spending time just being? What happend to flowers on your nightstand and a home cooked meal just because "I love you"? Whatever happened to holding hands past the "honeymoon phase" as if you are 16 year old kids giddy over each other? Because afterall, aren't we? "What would I do without you?". I want to hold you like I never want to let you go, kiss you like its our first and last, and look into your eyes and know I'm safe with my special guy who remembers to hold on for a moment longer and embrace each time we touch.

     If it weren't for my "extra special" guy, I don't know if I would remember how important it is to show love daily.  He is the secret to the sauce.  I never knew what it felt like to have a truly romantic night out in Paris before him.  He is someone who is definitely and most certainly full of love to give, and before him I would have never known I was the same.  I think maybe we all have this love bottled up deep inside and it's sitting there waiting to blossom into something beautiful.  If only we could reach down within and water those beautiful pieces of us so one summer night they could bloom and stay bloomed.  Its as though, each time we love, our bouquet [heart] is watered giving us even more love to give.  Now that I've learned of this love, I feel as though it is pouring out of me in every direction for all people, its up to them if they want to accept it or reject it. I am so thankful for the people in my life that receive love openly with grateful hearts and extend love out to others.  It all starts with a little seed that is planted and each encounter can either grow that seed or stunt it.  

    If you know anything about Jesus He IS love.  I believe we are called to love others through Him to show them Christ's love and thats exactly what Taylor does every day.  I know that the Lord used him to reach my heart and show me a different way then I was going.  I have no words to explain how amazing God's love is and how grateful I am that He revealed His love for me through such a special person. So, I suppose he is "extra special".  After all, the Lord is the core of our relationship, He is our center and any love that we have for each other is because of Him and Him alone.  We both know that Jesus is our rock, He is the foundation of "us".  Thus, we have learned to treat each other as a gift that God has given us to love and embrace.  Remembering everyday to see one another as an undeserved gift from God, creates what some would call an "extra special" kind of love.  

           Now then, you may see why, every night together feels like Paris.

Here now, making lemonade.

Hi self, this is for you.
    Happy birthday, another year of life has begun! In 24 years you're the happiest you've ever been, you know yourself more than you ever have, you find comfort in your own skin, and your finally standing in your feet right where you are. Welcome to the good life, the full life, the life not of this world but IN this world. You know yourself and there is no way you'd be where you are today at 24 without the struggles, leaps, heaps of crud and confusion, shipwrecks, and tiny tears, no, PUDDLES Gods allowed you to cry. 

    In the midst of those painful moments in childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood you were not only broken, but blind. You didn't understand, couldn't comprehend, or even fathom why a God, YOUR God, so loving and beautiful, would allow you to hurt the ways we often do walking through life. It took 20-something years for you to figure out your struggles, our brokenness, our imperfections, and insecurities bring us closer to our Father, YOUR Father. We find that we need Him. You NEED Him. You're not God, nor do you ever think you could be, but if we were perfect, if life was perfect, we wouldn't need God. You want to need Him. You know you can lean, trust, and depend on Him and you're safe. No matter the circumstances, trial, or storm, Tessa can be content knowing He has a bigger plan for her, one much better than she could ever dream up for herself. Its a matter of finding this in the midst of our sufferring and learning to s u r r e n d e r. Surrender, a term that is so often used, heard, and thrown out loosely, its meaning completely robbed from the original intent. To surrender, to let go, stop fighting, and die to your old self, release the reigns, admit to yourself that you are not completely in control of life; that you need Him to the very core, you recognize you were created with a place in your heart just for Him and nothing, NOT-A-THING can fill it except His love and presence.

   You find that He loves us so much that He allows us to hurt as He too hurts.  All the while,we are growing closer and closer to finding Him and the solid, intimate, real, and raw relationship with Him we all long for. At times it takes tragedies and afflictions to come to Him, FINALLY, for healing, for anything because we find ourselves so lost and so broken. Yet, he was there all along knocking gently at your door. It just took a thunderstorm, tornado, and tsunami to knock down that guard gate and cement barrier we'd built up for so long, we couldn't ever hear Him. 

   So here you are now Tess, and this time you know not to build up any walls. Your house is open, free, and peaceful and when life hands you lemons, you'll be making lemonade..with Jesus.