Welcoming Fall: Solutions or Surrendering?

Welcoming Fall: Solutions or Surrendering?

Happy October!! I love the Fall and I'm so excited that it is October and we get to decorate, make pumpkin spiced everything, and light up the seasonal candles that make our home smell so delicious you could eat the air.  Theres been a lot going on lately with the move, redoing our kitchen, my husband about to switch jobs, and just life in general being busy and full of surprises. I've received some emails from you guys about my lack of blogging recently, and I do apologize for my absence, I will do a couple posts soon on recent updates for all that life has thrown our way this past month or so soon! Hold tight (:

I've been doing some reflecting lately and really feeling like I've been too focused on things that arent important and less focused on what is, my walk with God. I have felt sort of like I've been in a desert, a desert I slowly put myself in by not keeping my eyes on Jesus. I learned years ago, if Satan can't make you bad, he'll make you busy. Well, busy is always where the enemy gets me. Even if I'm not that busy, my mind creates busy work and things to worry about that need resolution. I'm a worrier by nature, a problem solver, and do-er, a go getter, I get things done.. its both a gift and a curse.  When I'm worried it means im not trusting. When I am solving everything on my own with my head down then how am I surrendering? Im overly self-sufficient sometimes. It hurts me because we are meant to lean on God daily, moment by moment in all of our decisions and especially in the areas we feel fearful in. A lot of times i'll try to find an answer or resolve something my way because I suppose I think its quicker or it seems easier that way?  When really God is showing me I need to get on my knees, pray and then trust Him with it.  So today I am on my knees. Today I know I don't have all the answers. Today I trust and today I believe that He is sovereign over all the details of my life big or small. 

It is always my hope that by sharing in my struggles and being transparent we can feel connected to one another and know we are not alone in the struggles of life.  By sharing my heart I pray you find peace knowing Jesus is the answer always.  

^^^His best spooky face!^^^

^^^two tiny pumpkins^^^

Jammies by Cotton On Kids (here)

What We Wear: Little Baberham

 What We Wear: Little Baberham

I told ya life was crazy busy lately, well it still is, no surprise there, we are moving in this weekend to our new home, its official! The kitchen upgrades begin today! WOOOHOO and our home went from a warm yellow/beige to a delicious beige gray, otherwise known as "Griege" and im pretty happy about it.  Its so silly to even care about stuff like this but once you have a home i guess you just cant help but make it your own and style it to your familys personalities.  

My promise in doing this blog is to do my duty of staying as honest as possible and sharing my heart and the truth of where im at. This weekend was a rough one, it had more downs than id like to admit but we still had some great family memories as well. We closed escrow last Thursday and I think the stress of getting everything done in time and then beginning our renovations right away just started us off to a moody weekend. Both my husband and I were both really on edge and irritable. I think lack of sleep, change, and feeling a bit overwhelmed with house chores and moving can do that to ya pretty quickly. We would pray, we would sing worship songs, we would take breaks and go swim and play or eat a yummy meal.. but still, we were not ourselves as far as our attitude and mood goes. Since being a part of this social media world I think we all have observed how we share mostly the great moments, the beautiful memories, the special and sweet parts of our day or week, and that is because thats what we want to remember. I don't really have a desire to recall all of our moody days, irritable moments, or heart break.  I'd like to have our memories stored of those moments of Cash's first real steps, like last week (YAY!), the day my husband proposed, a delicious meal and the scents and colors that filled our home.  I want to remember the blessings and be thankful for them.  

The downfall with social media can be those of us that think that everyones life is really perfect, because we are only seeing a tiny piece of someones life.. all of the good.  So thats what this space is for, its to share the beauty of our lives with you all and store these memories here as a keepsake, but is has also become a ministry for me, a place where I can be genuine and transparent. I want to share pieces of our heart ache and hurst here not to remember them but to give others hope that they are not alone. I'd like to create community and real-ness here. There are people out there that don't have support, no one to talk to or pray with, people who feel that everyone else's life is perfect and they are out there struggling alone, other's who feel they have to keep all of their secrets inside and couldn't possibly share their pain or their problems.  If anything, i just want to step out in faith and lead in sharing our hurts because that is the only way through them,.. with support, with confession, asking for prayer, venting and getting things off your chest, surrendering that weight you carry, and not being 'as sick as your secrets'.  

Im not exactly sure where this post came from. I just know that was my heart this morning. I would love to hear from those of you that this post may impacted in some way.  Don't be afraid to share publicly in the comments either, thats how we can all connect to one another and step out of whatever fear inhibits us from being vulnerable. 

Today I want to share with you one of my sweet friends companies, Little Baberham. I'm really excited for this particular company because literally everything she makes is a d o r a b l e beyond belief.  You must follow her on instagram (@littlebaberham) and see photos of her darling little girls repping their shop product, its just too cute for words.  Lacey, the owner, makes headwraps & kimonos not just for your little ladies and babies but also for mama birds! Which i love because we don't have a little lady yet and I needed to get my hands on one of these so its good to know that she has styles and sizes for mommys too! 

Litte Baberham website

@littlebaberham instagram

Headwrap c/o Little Baberham

Crochet Maxi Forever21 (sold out, similar style here)

What Is This Blog For & Talking About Healing

What Is This Blog For & Talking About Healing

I have this space here to store our memories, to keep me accountable to journaling and keeping a record of our life, i also share here because I believe its what God calls us to do, to live our lives honestly and openly, sharing our testimony, our story with others so we can relate to one another, join in on this journey with one another and know that we are not alone. Life is not easy, we live in a fallen world so we need each other more than we'll admit sometimes. I am so grateful for a place I feel safe enough to pour my heart out, obviously there are some things i dont share, some things maybe too personal or i feel I need to protect my family or friends in certain areas, but for the most part i try to be really trasparent. I TRY is the key word here.  It doesn't necessarily come natural to me to be so vulnerable and exposed. I grew up thinking I had to be perfect to be loved by someone, that if i showed my flaws or people saw the parts of me that I thought weren't "good enough" that maybe they wouldn't like me as much. I didn't know that this was a lie i was believing, i didn't even know i was thinking this way.. it was subconcious.  It wasn't until I was older that i learned that i had believed that lie for so long and let it shape most of my relationships. I thought i was open with people and one day it came to my attention that a lot of what I shared was what I felt safe sharing but what i needed to share with my close circle was what i needed prayer over, areas where i needed to lean on someone and needed their support or guidance.  How can you really ever be known and feel close to people if no one really knows your heart, your wondedness, the deepest thoughts and troubles that are on your mind? You can't. 

I am so thankful God has revealed this place in my heart that needed healing, and i am so very grateful that i have been restored and I no longer believe those same lies. I didn't come here to even write about this, it just sort of came out when i began typing.  Sometimes i have to remind myself of what im doing here. What this space is about for me. I want it to be an honest space, one where people can ask questions, share their own feelings and thoughts, and be kind to each other... a space where people feel understoond, heard, and connected. It is my hope that you feel as though you are not alone when you come to this blog of mine. With all of the busy-ness in life right now and over the past few months, I have asked myself what can give? Where do i have room to eliminate something?  I asked myself if I feel called to blog, why i blog?  I suppose thats what got me writing this post.  I know why I blog, I know its purposeful, your emails touch my heart so deeply and i have met some incredible women from this online community that i wouldn't trade for the world. Your friendships mean so much to me. I know how healing it is for me to practice hummility and be transparent here.  So questions like the ones i asked myself above are a great reminder for me to focus on listening to what Jesus puts on my heart to share here. This isn't mine, this is His. I want to remember that each time I share something with you.

I just wanted you to know my heart i suppose. And that im grateful for you.

*If you read along I would love for you guys to follow by adding  your email on the right hand side of my blog. its easy! Helps get to know you all. (wont work on a cell phone).