Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Our Baby Is 6 Months Old!: Happy Half Birthday Little One!

Our Baby Is 6 Months Old: Happy Half Birthday Little One!

he sure loves that paper at the Dr's office!

Tried some organic brown rice cereal for the first time at 6 months old to the day!

He didn't have an extreme reaction, he seemed to like it i think

Kisses from Grandpa in Aspen, Colorado

Laying with mama who was sick with the stomach flu.

I love his facination with shadows.

He basically just kills me when he barries his head into my chest and wants to cuddle.

Wearing his Broncos onesie watching the big game.

Hes pretty excited to show off his two new bottom teeth!

And of course playing naked for a bit in the morning (;

I am fighting back tears as I write this post. Its not because im sad that he is growing, changing, learning, expanding, exploring, becoming even more loveable and fun! I love every minute of being a part of that! I think its really about fear of the future.. the unknown.  Cash still seems so small and sweet and is my little baby. I don't look at him and see a big boy or think hes grown too quickly, as some moms feel. I love the pace that he has grown, my heart can handle this pace so far. So i suppose listening to so many mother's say over and over how quickly they grow (myself included at times), scares me. I suppose I am waiting for that one day where I wake up and he has grown SO much over night. Or theres a week where he goes through a miraculous growth spurt that just blows my mind and my baby is gone. The more I really think about that subconcious fear and bring it to my concious thoughts, I hear how irrational and silly it sounds. So I am going to try my best to let go of the worry that my baby will grow quicker than my heart can bare. I am going to enjoy every moment as I have been, encouraging his milestones, teaching him more every day, and when those days come when I have to pack away more and more clothes that no longer fit him, I will thank God for my son who is growing healthily, who is able to have a deeper relationship with his father and I the smarter he becomes, who can see God more and more the more he learns about life, and that he is alive and well.

That brings me to my brother Brock. Brock passed away before I was born. He was born on my moms birthday and he passed 6 months later on my dads birthday. He died from SIDs (Sudden Infant Death Syndrom).  Devastating. Painful. Despair. I cry when I think about the hurt my parents must have faced. I don't think I ever understood how intenstly that must have hurt growing up.. but having my own son, who is now 6 months old to the day, my heart aches so badly for my parents. I think about how they must have felt losing their first and only son at the time. . that must have been earth s h a t t e r i n g. It would break my soul. I wanted to share this in todays post because of all the moms that follow this little blog of mine.. if any of you have faced this hardship, I am so so so sorry. I want you to know you have a friend in me and if you ever want to talk or need prayer, I would love to be able to be that person for you. I also wanted to share some hope with you. My parents are believers in our Almighty God, they trusted Him with their sons life, they trusted His plan and the path that He chose for their little family. My mom says to this day that Brock was an angel baby, he was perfect in every way, a gift to them. She says at the time my father didn't know the Lord and she had been battling an eating disorder, Brocks dead led my dad to salvation in Christ, it also helped my mom find the healing she needed. She was able to overcome her disorder and find freedom from those shakles.  Brock saved them both. I wouldn't be here today if he hadn't had passed. Neither would my little brother. Our family, my parents, and my four siblings had such a great life growing up together, we are all so very close and I can see how Gods hand was all over our family. Our family is what it is today because of Brock. My moms story, my parents faith together, that has all shaped us in extraordinary ways. I am reminded of how majestic our Lord is and that even in tragic moments in life, we can trust He is soveriegn. Brock, we will see you in heaven someday soon, I cannot wait to meet you and hold you.

Cash, you are a mother's dream come true. We love every part of you. Here are some beautiful things about you this 6th month:  You laugh like crazy, we're talking belly laughing at its finest, you smile all day long, you understand some of things we say ("im going to get you.." that is your favorite! You crack up when we say that), you look when we call your name, you sit up all on your own without assistance (sometimes you topple over so we put the boppy behind you for extra safety), you have managed to live 6 months without 1 single injury, you had your first cold this month (thanks to your cousins, lol), you went on your first airplane (to Aspen, Colorado), you are still exclusively nursing (we are introducing solids today!), you can't keep your hands and toys out of your mouth, you had two teeth cut through this month on the bottom, you only cry when you are tired, hungry or dont feel good, you are starting to try to wiggle and move, you roll all over the place, you sleep on your side, you love to bounce, you are a mamas boy, you think daddy is the funniest person on the planet, you are a cuddler, an observer, and both super calm and a little wild rascal. You are the greatest gift God has given to mommy and daddy adn we thank Him every single day for you.  

Cash you are everything to mommy and daddy, we love you!

Happy Half Birthday our sweet little love!!!