Beauty From Ashes: Family Fun, Health Scares, And Hallways
(this was typed on my iPad, excuse any typos)
When we returned to pick up Cash he was happy as can be fresh from a nap and excited to be back in this mamas arms. His grammy was helping us get his things together and telling us how much fun they had together when she brought it to our attention that he had little markings on his legs and she wondered what they were or if we knew they were there. Immediately my mama heart skipped a beat and I lifted his little pant leg to see these"markings". There they were, 10 faint little purple dots as though someone had drawn on him with a tiny pen tip. Both legs. Only on his calves. No where else. I was confused because we hadn't done anything different. We hadnt changed his detergent, body lotion, soap, or anything that would cause a rash. And these little markings weren't raised, they seemed to be under the skin which made me worry.
Immediately after getting home I got on the Internet (I know, I know, bad idea but i had to know what it could be). I didn't really think it could be from anything too bad but I needed to make sure we took care of whatever was causing it. The only thing I found that matched exactly what he had on his legs was a rash caused from meningitis (which his was not nearly as bad as the photos shown on google) or something having to do with his blood platelets or fighting a virus. Every website said we should call our Dr immediately, so of course that's what we did. With it being Sunday our office had a call center forwarding to the Dr on call which that day happened to be CHOC hospital.. Whom told us to do a glass test in which you roll a glass over the area with the markings and if they don't disappeard when the glass is pressed against the skin the. You need to go in immediately, if the markings go away it's probably nothing to worry about and just a rash. Well, his markings didn't disappear or fade at all so the Dr sent us to an urgent care called Kids Doc with a pediatrician. We weren't happy about having to take him in to a place where a ton of sick kids would be, being only 3 months old that's just not a great idea during flu season. So they recommended we wait in the hall instead of the waiting room. Cash was acting fine, had no fever, was smiling and being his happy little self, he was sleeping normal, eating normal, and his amount of diapers hadn't changed. I didn't think anything would be wrong but we knew we had to be certain. Cash doesn't have a voice or a choice yet which means we as his parents, are his voice and his advocate. We need to protect him and make sure he is safe, happy, and healthy. It's always better to be cautious and on the safer side with a new baby and being first time parents. So we waited and waited....
Cash was asleep by 6:30 in his carseat (he goes to bed between 6 and 6:30 every night so we let him sleep in his carseat because we knew there was a possibility this could be a long night if they decided to send us to the hospital for blood work etc.) My husband and I decided to take advantage of it being just the two of us sitting there in the hallway waiting. I came up with the idea of playing a game: we were to come up with 3 truths and 2 lies about ourselves and the other had to guess which two were the lies. This was such a hard thing to do because we know each other so well, we know mostly everything about each other so to come up with things we hadn't yet told one another was difficult but so fun! I won't get into the stories we came up with or any of that but I will say we sat there for hours laughing hysterically and having so much fun. There were no distractions, Cash as resting peacefully, the halls were quiet, our phones were silenced, no TV or book in sight, no computer or gadget to tempt us. It was just him & I being creative, giving each other our undivided attention to play a game, have a bit of fun, and learn more about one another. There was a moment where I paused and soaked up the goodness that was occurring. I remember thinking about how much fun we were having being goofballs there in the hallway late at night, just like when we first fell in love, you wanted to get to know that person and spend as much time with them as humanly possible. He had my attention, my eyes were solely on him, glued as I watched him play with me like kids. We acted out voices and scenes from movies, and the other had to guess what actors voice it was and from which film. I nearly peed myself doing my best impersonations of actors such as Leo in Romeo and Juliet, Christopher Walken in Click and Ariel in The Little Mermaid . It reminded me that we have so many choices in life..we can choose to be worriers or people of faith. We can choose to be negative and pessimists or we can look at each situation in a positive way as an opportunity for something great. We can get out of the way and allow God to create beauty from ashes.
(Side note: Our little guy ended up being completely healthy. The dr thinks it was just broken capillaries from his carseat, diaper or pants being too tight, or someone holding him awkwardly that day. We aren't sure, and may never know. That's ok, I just needed to know he was alright and now to keep a watchful eye on him to make sure it goes away.)
Later that evening when we returned to our cozy little home, I giggled and told my husband how nice it was to play there in the hallway with him... He chuckled and said, "ya, maybe we should visit hallways more often".
I know hallways aren't necessary to get us to rid ourselves of all the daily distractions of life, good and bad, we need to be able to be diciplined and intentional about doing this on our own. We check in with each other often on what we could do to better ourselves and our marriage.. This week we decided to be more playful, but in a simple way. Last week we wanted to plan for more adventure.. So we did. But this week it's about simplicity, the playfulness that comes out naturally, creatively, it's a part of our making... That's the rawness and realness I love and there's no other human on this planet that I'd rather have fun with.